Author: connie

What could stop racism and indifference?

People are your temperature gage for how much you actually love God. In a world where people love God there is no racism bullying hatred indifference anxiety When people belong – it looks like the kingdom that Jesus had in mind. To go deeper into a life of worship means we need to look at an aspect of worship we often overlook or don’t think of at all.  We do “just me and God” very well.  We spend time in prayer or meditation. We close ourselves in on a Sunday morning so it’s just us and God. But then people happen.  And we want to smack them. Jesus defied the idea of worship of just being about us and God.  I want to share about that further through the story of the Last Supper. Matthew, Mark, and Luke all talk about a part of the last supper we all know about.  However, there is something about last supper we haven’t thought much about. It’s important to remember that Jesus knew that was the very last night he would spend with his disciples.  I don’t know about you but if I knew this was my last night to live, I would want to tell my kids the most important things I would want them to remember before I left.  Jesus’s words at the last supper were important because this was...

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Addictions will only continue until we learn to resolve our issue with this one thing…

In my journey of studying addiction I was led by the question of “WHY?”  Why do people find themselves in deep rooted addictions when we all know that no one dreamed of that as a child.  What happened?  And why does 1 out of every 2 people in Canada struggle with some form of addiction? I discovered that addiction reveals that our society doesn’t know what to do with pain.  If we can’t medicate it medically, we attach to other things that promise to bring healing, but don’t. Culture is meant to serve it’s people by helping them face adversity.  This is something our western society clearly lacks.  Sociologist James Davies states that during the 20th century most people living in our society are confused to why they suffer emotionally. The problem is that when we face circumstances that seem out of our control and no one can explain why this pain is happening to us, it creates unrest and resentment in a society. This only continues to create more drive, more striving for success.  If we don’t help people make sense of suffering that that is unexplainable, this leads to social instability.  The instability we see in the increase in addiction, mental health, anxiety says we have some explaining to do.  People are suffering and all we know to respond is to say, “Just find your own personal...

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Addiction is not about the substance, it has more to do with this…

One in five Canadians are experiencing a mental health or addiction problem.  In fact, people struggling with mental health are two times as likely to have a substance abuse problem coinciding (Centre for Addiction and Mental Health 2017).  Why is that and what can we do about it? Addiction doesn’t start when substance is used.  Addiction starts in the brain, where the environment that surrounds that person at home, work, school has literally shaped that person’s mind. In last week’s post, I talked about how the family literally determines the mindset of children.  You can see more of that post here.  Our responses to stress influence us and our children.  When parents are stressed or anxious, this decreases an infant’s ability to regulate their own mind as well.  This is not to give addiction the excuse,  “I had poor regulation due to my environment”, but only reveal that addiction is not just about making a decision about whether to have a drink or not, or whether to smoke weed or not.  Every addiction has brain chemistry behind it. Self regulation is not defined as “good behaviour”, but as mind integration; where there is balance between all of the mind’s functions of fight or flight, problem solving, creativity, differentiation (where others emotions do not define your own), etc.  Self regulation depends highly on environment.  A person with good regulation does...

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How your parenting NOW can save your child from addiction

We as parents have the capacity to make a difference in our children and see them live a life free of addiction.  What I’m about to write it’s going to be hard to read.  Believe me, it was hard to write.  To bring freedom from shame, I am going to be very open about my failures as a parent.  Resilience in our children isn’t created through perfect parenting but in the repair after relational ruptures. When a child is born, the interaction between mother and infant literally forms their brain development.  This brain development at birth and even while in the mother’s womb is the key to determine whether this new baby will be vulnerable to addictive behaviors in the future.  It has been believed that addiction is the fault of the substance alone, but research has shown that the cause of addiction largely has to do with the experience in early childhood, states Dr. Felitti.  This isn’t to take genes out of the equation, or take away responsibility for the addict’s actions, but to reveal the power environment has on brain development which as we will see, plays a large role in addiction. The brain is developed through our experience.  Good experiences lead to a healthy brain.  The opposite delays brain development and increases coritsol.  Cortisol depletes ability to process emotions, a very important brain function in learning...

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The real issue of addiction is not the addiction. It’s this.

No one dreams of becoming an addict as a child.  No one woke up one morning saying to themselves, “I think I’m going to become an alcoholic today.”  So then why does it happen? I know for myself, it happened suddenly when my family was facing a crisis that I didn’t know how to handle.  It seemed all hope was lost.  I couldn’t face the pain, so each night after my family went to bed, I downed a large glass of whiskey to knock myself out.  I did this for a year.  I’ll never forget hearing a voice inside me say, “Would you like to deal with your addiction?”  Instantly I went into justifying why I didn’t have an addiction; “I’m a good person”, “I speak about resilience for a living, there’s no way I have an addiction”.  When I finally broke down, I found myself saying, “Ok maybe I am struggling with it, but I have a good reason! I’m helpless right now!”  Addiction can always be justified by the one struggling. But I did.  Lucky for me I chose to be brave to admit it, find support and haven’t had a problem since.  It surprised me that I could fall easily into addictions trap.  It was humbling to think that someone with education, a good upbringing and purpose could find myself there. But it’s easier than we...

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