teenpornWhen I was a youth, porn was something you could only get a hold of by having the courage to walk into a XXX video store or buy over the counter where the magazines were covered.  Even though I grew up sheltered away from walking into a triple X store, I remember at my 10 year old sleepover party a couple of girls and I stayed up all night and caught a glimpse of “late night” entertainment around 3am.  All of us hurled out screams and turned off the TV. I can still remember vividly the pictures we saw if I let my mind go there.

Because I was an innocent girl, I don’t know what age most youth back in the day got into sneeking a peek at their parents Playboy magazines, but I do know that what was offered to the viewer back then was pretty tame and harder to come by than today.   I’m still pretty innocent, but the young adults I work with have been extremely honest with me about their views on sex and porn.  The way they speak of it so casually in conversation shows that it has become just another “view” on the internet.

I gotta say, folks.  I’m worried for my sons if porn remains this accessible and graphic.

I recently read a helpful article from the Daily Mail in the UK called: “Experiment that convinced me online porn is the most pernicious threat facing children today”.  It was both disturbing and educational for those who have any doubt that most teens are indeed not only exposed to porn, but watching it.  What I liked about the article is that it is written by Martin Daubney, former editor of “Loaded” – a magazine that features nude or almost-nude women.  He claims the dangers that porn is presenting to our young people today.  Coming from someone accused of producing “soft porn” and one who used to defend porn makes the threat worth looking at.  An innocent mom like myself saying it is one thing, him saying it makes the issue an important one to hear out.

Here’s some sobering stats the article mentions:

– Out of a class of 20, all teens ages 13-15 had seen porn involving anal sex.

– Porn is changing the way our young men view sex.  One fifteen year old girl mentioned how guys now expect “porn sex”.  This is resulting in more violent acts of sex.

– Porn is changing the way teens view pubic hair.  It’s been referred to as “gorilla” in a manner of disgust.  I have younger friends who often tell me of their need to wax everything off for more appeal.  Not to mention the new fad of bleaching butt holes, thanks to porn featuring anal acts resulting in girls thinking that even the anal side of the body needs to be appealing?  I’m not making this up, people.

– Porn is setting the standard for a woman sexually.  That’s a scary sentence.  Not only is she to perform like a porn star in bed, have no hair (anywhere I guess), but she is to look like a porn star.  Store front magazines like Vogue, Teen Vogue, fitness mags, etc aren’t the only ones shaping the minds of our young men and women.  Porn is modelling to them that, “THIS is sexy”  “This is how you should look”  “Does your girl measure up?”  Unfortunately what it does to our young men is set them in a trap of illusion to what beauty is.  I can’t even begin to speak of how it destroys a female’s already distorted view of her body…

– Most teens who are watching porn online are doing so without their parents knowing.

– Porn actually takes away a man’s sexual drive by giving him the desire to want more, yet not being satisfied by real sexual encounters.  Thus, porn literally takes over his life.  It’s just as powerful as substance addiction.

If our children’s entire expectation of sex comes from what they are exposed to online, then we are not in for, we are already in a sexual genicide.  “I feel as if an entire generation’s sexuality has been hijacked by grotesque online porn… ‘Letting our children consume it freely via the internet is like leaving heroin lying around the house’ – Martin Daubney

Why is this so important to not ignore this?  Because it goes beyond what’s “wrong” or even addictive.  Sexuality is tied intimately with our identity.  We are sexual beings.  The greatest attack on our identity can be done through the door of sexuality.  If a man can be shackled by addiction and a thought process that changes his view on who he was meant to be sexually, the results are traumatic.  The article explains young men not being able to do homework, graduate, get a job etc.  The way they view the identity of women is distorted.  How they raise their sons in their identity will then be distorted.  Everyone suffers all through getting through to the tiny window of sexuality in our hearts.

We need to bring young men and women back to a healthy identity.  This is why some friends and I are pouring ourselves into a project we’re calling “The Lab”.  Although it is a space used to engage youth in dance, urban expression and creativity, it goes much further beyond that.  It’s about community, compassion and courage; giving young people a chance to have healthy mentors who can tap into the identity these youth were created to have.  It’s about finding meaning in creating, rather than absorbing what culture sells.

Youth are less likely to become less than what they were made for when offered something that rises them above to see what they were made for; that being MORE than they can imagine.

If your heart resonates with this, I would love for you to be a part of creating this space for youth with the team I work with (Legacy One and Mpact).  You can do this by:

– Liking our facebook page to keep up to date!

– voting for us to get $130,000 towards getting the space to do this!  You can view our cause here.  Even further, we are looking for a base of people who will consistently vote every day for us.  We would love for you to partner with us in that manner.

– spreading the word about the voting to your school, business, organization, network, friends – any sphere of influence you have that could refer consistent voters to us.  We believe what we have to offer youth is worth every vote to get us to the $130,000 to see the space become a reality!  You can use this link here to spread the word!

Beyond the project, may we all commit to investing into the lives of young people.  A war for their identity is present.  Will we stand and fight for them?  Will we be ones who say to them “You are better than this” and call them into a better future?