There’s nothing like a good chat with a friend. Sometimes you just need to talk through things that are happening at the present time – things that are good, things you’re processing….. it’s just good to get it out. After a good gab with a girlfriend I feel refreshed, ready to face my day.
However, us gals sometimes struggle with the line between venting and gossip. Sometimes the things we’re going through involve others. So how do we work through things without stepping over the line into gossip territory? Many times I’ve found myself in a conversation where I’ve stepped over the line and then wondered; “How did that happen? I didn’t mean to do that!” Easy to do, isn’t it?
And then there have been times I have struggled with actually wanting to be spiteful. There, I said it. That’s hard to admit because us girls do everything with the best intentions, but in a couple of cases I’ve known full well my intentions were nothing but selfish and full of pride.
The times it has happened in my life was when I was threatened by another female – a female who just seemed to “perfect”. Someone who was good at everything I’m good at and/or would want to be good at. Someone who seemed to have the perfect family, house, kids, talent, perfect…. everything! Someone I felt inferior too.
Ironically, in these cases, she seems to be everywhere I go. She’s mentioned in many conversations I have with different people who have NO CLUE how I’m struggling. They compliment her, leaving me tempted to say something to downplay how “wonderful” she is. I wish I could say I always overcame those feelings, but the truth is that a few times I gave in, saying something that would make her not seem so great. Immature? yes. Insecure? Oh ya. Stupid? You know it…
In those moments I knew exactly what I was doing and after had to face God with my head down and a big “sorry….. BUT WHY DO YOU KEEP BRINGING HER UP???”
I know why: to show me the condition of my heart.
How do we know the condition of our hearts?
What I speak shows my heart condition. Clearly, these situations showed how insecure I am. It’s one thing to feel insecure, it’s another thing to become so consumed by it to feel the need to talk another person down.
We need to let go of our insecurities and allow every woman to be who she is: seemingly perfect, gifted, popular or weak and broken. Everyone deserves that.
How did I overcome? I would bless those girls in my mind. Every time I thought of them I would try to think about something good about them. I would compliment them (sincerely) whenever I could. That was challenging because I thought for sure they didn’t need more “ego boost”, yet it did something in me…. it caused me to see that they didn’t get all the praise I thought they do. They actually need the encouragement! And it transformed my threatened heart into a compassionate heart. All of a sudden, she wasn’t so bad. I might have even grown to like her….
The moral of the story? Spit it out. Spit out the compliments to those you struggle with feeling inferior too. Spit out agreements when others praise them in front of you. Spit out blessings on those who have even spoken badly about you, and THROW OUT the inferiority only you have created by comparing yourself. YOU have value too you know 🙂